Alright, so I’m 21 years old and I’m majorly single and, I’ll be honest, it’s not always as fun as I’d like to think. Yes, I am free and I can be spontaneous and independent, but seeing what seems like everyone else in the world find their soulmates and get married and have beautiful babies is not the joyride that some would like you to believe. However, while I’ve had my nights watching Bridget Jones’ Diary crying over the fact that I’ll never find someone like Colin Firth, I’ve managed to find some pretty awesome highlights of living the solo life. So here I am, 21 and enjoying my life, sharing five things that have helped me embrace my singularity.
1. Find Close Girl Friends
I cannot stress this one enough. You are single, you don’t have to be waiting up for someone every night or checking in with them to make sure you weren’t having some sappy adorable dinner date. Find other girls around your age that are single and really get to know them. Be silly, be immature. Make stupid jokes, talk about weird things. Those girls will be your saving grace when you’re over halfway through a punnet of ice cream and drowning in Jane Austen quotes.
2. Do What You Want
Seriously. This is your time to be spontaneous and ridiculous and to do the things that you’ve always wanted to do. Go to Italy. Learn French. Spend an entire day with your nose in book. Leave your phone at home and go be alone in nature for a weekend. You have no one check in with. You don’t have any dates to reschedule. Be on your own and learn who you are and what you love to do. Be yourself and don’t apologize for it. You can think for yourself right now and can form your own ideas and opinions about the world.
3. Get a Life
Use this time to grow up. Get up a little earlier. Pay your bills on time. Call your parents. Do the adult things. No one wants to date a child, so you either need to be okay with being immature and single, or put your big girl shoes on and get it done. You’re an adult and it’s time to be one. Learn how to take care of yourself – eat better, get some exercise, go to bed earlier. Set routines and habits that will help you be the best version of you possible.
4. Press Pause
Take time to just be still and breathe. It’s okay to need a minute to catch your breathe, the important thing is actually taking that moment. Learn how to rest; figure out what actually makes you feel energized. Learn how to be content on your own. It’s so important to be okay with it just being you, but in order to do that, you need to give yourself time alone. What gives you energy? What drains your energy? Do you need to hibernate for an evening with tea and a good book? Do you need to have a fun evening with friends? Figure out what really makes you feel full of energy and communicate those needs to your friends. People get it if you need to hangout or if you need some alone time.
5. Hangout With the Fam
Lastly, spend time with your family. When you find yourself in a serious relationship who knows which family you’ll be with over Christmas or Thanksgiving. Take this time that you have right now and put what you can into your family. Have sibling games nights. Babysit your nieces and nephews. Go for breakfast with your dad. Have movie nights with your mom. Help your grandma make dinner for everyone. There’s nothing wrong with being independent and learning how to do things on your own, but my best bet is that your family will be the best people to actually teach you how to do that. You’re a part of your family for a reason, learn how to love your family more and purposely take time to include them in your life. Trust me, it’ll make all the difference.
So there are my five ways to enjoy being single. Like I said before, being single isn’t always the most fun thing, but if you never learn how to find enjoyment in singleness, you’ll never find contentment in a relationship. While I totally think that we are made to be in relationship with other people, I also think that it’s important for us to figure out who we are before we throw ourselves into a forever commitment with someone. Maybe it sounds selfish, but I think that’s what a few years of singleness are good for. One day you’ll be with someone and you won’t just be able to do whatever you want and that’s good, there is an incredible beauty in the give and take of relationships, but right now, just enjoy being you and only you. There’s no point in wallowing in loneliness or letting yourself become absorbed in romantic fantasies – take it from some who knows. I love chick flicks, but I am almost always just one short love story away from crying myself to sleep. But I’m growing and I’m learning and I’m doing things that single people should do. I moved across the world, I made a ton of incredible girl friends that I have so many weird jokes with. I learned that I need alone time everyday and that if I don’t take time to rest, I shut down. I learned what I want to do with my life. I have blossomed into someone incredible not because I have some great guy doing life with me, but because I’ve learned to be happy with it just being me. I’ve learned to love me and I’m learning how to love others too.