School of Innovative Youth Ministry
Week 9 – Project Management
This week was something special. It looked like it was going to be my perfect topic – my sweet spot. Planning and events, projects and schedules…These are a few of my favorite things. I was so ready to get into lecture and work on improving my planning and organization skills and get to do things that I love doing. Well then the week started and it was absolutely nothing like what I thought it was going to be and we barely covered anything I thought we were going to cover and it was probably one of the best weeks of my school.
We talked about so many things and it’s so difficult to even try to think back to a mere week ago and pick out what the biggest thing I learned was. We looked at a things like God as a planner, our personal life timeline, personal identity in God, our own values, resting in God, vision, and, lastly, project planning. We spent the first three days being introspective and looking at God as a planner in our own lives and who he has created us to be. We wrote down our personal values and vision for our lives. Then on the last day we looked at some event planning and management tips.
One line that got my attention was, “The biggest project we will ever work on is our own lives.”
I got to thinking a lot about my own life and what I have done and what I want to do. I looked at what I value and what my vision for my future is. I’ll be honest, my plan is pretty sweet. Get a degree, work for a bit, save up, travel the world, and help people. All in all, those are good things – they are the things I’ve always wanted to do – but the more I looked at it, the more I realized that I hadn’t included God in my plans. I hadn’t even asked him what his plans for he were. I just assumed that God was for my plans because they are essentially ‘good plans’, but I didn’t think that maybe he actually wanted to talk to me about them.
I sat down and talked with one of my leaders and just processed all this stuff that was going through my head and how I realized that, deep down in my heart, I believe that my success in life is based on all the things that I can do. People I can help, articles I can write, money I can make. It was all focused on me. I hadn’t included God in my plans for things. This is where it starts to really hit home for me. God wants to be our focus, our driving forces, our success. We won’t ever be truly successful and fulfilled until we just focus on him and not on the things that we can do to make things better, even if those are good things.
This view has pierced pretty much every important thing I believe. If I believe that I can achieve everything on my own and that I can take care of myself, I’m going to run myself ragged or end up stuck in some situation and get bored and complacent. If I believe that my success is what sustains me, I will never actually be sustained.
In my head I knew that God was providing for me and taking care of me, but in my heart I was still trying to do things to make things happen. I figured if I just talked to this person or did this certain task, I would get all that I need. But God showed me that it’s not about me. Nothing on this earth is about me. It’s all about him and his love for the world. It finally started to make sense to me that God isn’t requiring me to do all these things to see him take care of me – he doesn’t need me to do anything. I just need to do what he asks of me, even when he asks me not to do anything. I have to let go of the control and the mindset that says that good things happen because I worked for them.
So now I’m just sitting here, enjoying the beauty of the rest that comes when you realize that you can’t actually control anything. I’m relaxing in the fact that God is a really good father and that he will always take care of what I need. Sure it’s hard some times and it can be scary when he asks me to do something that I don’t want to do, but it’s so worth it.