The first time you held someone’s hand.
That day was like any other day for the most part. I woke up early, worked at the cafe, and was picked up by my best friend at the end of my shift. We met her boyfriend and went over to his house to make dinner all together. On our way there we picked Him up. I got butterflies and jitters when He jumped into the car and giggled my heart out all the way to our friend’s place. We made dinner and laughed and played a game and laughed some more. The evening grew later and our voices grew louder. We knew it was time to wind down and head home so we cleaned up and made our way outside. He said He wasn’t feeling well and felt faint so I put His arm around my shoulder and helped Him out to the car. He leaned on me the whole way to His house and I felt the tremors shaking His body. We reached His driveway and he absent-mindedly shoved a paper in my hand and said goodnight before He dashed up the front steps and disappeared inside. I was confused and concerned, but also needed to get home. My friends were in the front seats and were also confused about what was wrong with Him. We left and went to drive my best friend’s boyfriend home, but my brain remembered the paper in my hand while we began to go. I unfolded the creased note and read in silence the most sweet things I have ever read. Tears stung my eyes and a smile broke on my mouth. Laughter escaped my lips as my friends asked what it said. “Turn around. We have to go back,” was all I could manage amidst the fire that was building in my chest. We were back at His house and I raced in the front door. I threw open every door in attempts to find Him, only to see Him standing on the back porch. He was breathing heavily and shaking uncontrollably. I made Him come inside and sit down and got Him some water to drink. I asked what was going on and His response was to pull me into His lap and hold me there while He caught His breath. He asked if we could go for a drive to calm Him down and I said of course. We ran back outside and jumped into our friend’s car and she drove for what seemed like ages as He found His breath and steadied His hands. I reached out towards Him and He grabbed my hand with a desperation – like He needed me to keep Him from exploding.